To be accused
by ButtonsMagoo
Summary: Vince gets mistakenly transported back to the Salem witch trials of Massachusettes 1692, with his pointed features and feather cut he's sure to be in danger. Can Howard, Naboo and Bollo save him or is he trapped to face conviction, charge and execution.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello, I thought I'd start writing this, because I'd done all the research and everything so, I've tried my best with the first bit and I've tried to get it sounding all old fashioned and professional.  
This does seem to be death by dialogue at the moment, as it's just the starter and I guess Taster, as I'm not sure how this will be received by everyone so let me know if you like it and would like me to carry on.**

**The Name of the woman on trial (Bridget Bishop) is the name of one of the women that were tried and executed, she was actually the first accused.  
Anyway, this is set after series three and Disclaimers are as follows:  
I don't own The Mighty Boosh or any of it's affiliated characters, The boys; Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding do, as do BB3 and baby cow – I'm not making any money from this ok?**

**Also I'd like to thank my BETA Radar- rox**

**Enjoy.**

June 10th 1692 Oyer and Terminer court Trial of Bridget Bishop.

"On the eve of Monday 27th month of May you were accused of stealing a loaf of bread from the Goodwin family, am I right?"

"No your lordship."

"But it is true that after said accusations from the family you proceeded to 'curse' them?"

"Yes, but your Honour-"

"The children of this family can no longer speak, and this was by the work of God? Nonsense, it is you that has sent these children into a world of misery, as of tonight June 10th you will be hanged by the neck on Gallows hill for committing witchcraft."

"I am no more a Witch than you are a Wizard, and if you take away my life then you'll have God give you blood to drink."

June 10th 2008 the Nabootique, Dalston.

"Vince would you please take your feet off the counter? People have to put money on there."

"No, cause then their money would've had some kind of contact with me."

"I've said this before and I'll say it again, do you think you're the Queen Mother?" Howard spoke, batting Vince's feet off the counter with his rolled up newspaper.

"Oi! Watch it, these are new Versace boots! I don't want them getting sullied by all that news rubbish."

"It's not news rubbish it's important, informs you Sir, about everything that goes on in the world. Keeps noted on historic dates."

"I thought the Sun was just filled with page after page of boobs?"

"I don't read the sun; I don't stoop down to read three whole pages about Jordan's breast reduction, I read much more civilised papers, papers like the Times."

"You're a knob."

"Well thank you very much Sir, here read this it might educate you more and then you'll probably learn how to respect your friends and talk to them more politely, now I'm gonna go make a cup of tea."

"While your up there mate, take that stick out your arse."


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow thanks guys for such a good reception! :D**

**Just to let you all know, i've told Vince that you're not at all happy with his behaviour in the last chapter, he said **

**'M'sorry'**

**Again, sorry for shortness it just seemed like a good place to stop :)**

**Disclaimers: I don't own the Boosh or any of it's affiliated characters they belong to Julian, Noel, BB3 and babycow productions - I own nothing.**

--

Howard threw a teabag into a mug and perched on the counter, impatiently waiting for the kettle to boil.

"Who does he think he is?" He mumbled to himself, jumping down as the kettle clicked to signal that the water was up to temperature. He lifted the kettle off its stand and poured the water over the tea bag, allowing the steam to engulf his face, making small beads of sweat swim across his brow. He poured milk into the mug and angrily threw spoonful after spoonful of sugar into the brown liquid.  
He marched into the living area, slumped on the sofa and sipped on his tea broodingly.

--

Vince sat in the position he'd been in almost all afternoon and he was starting to ache, he swung his legs over the counter and sat properly on the stool. He looked at the many clocks on the walls and sighed; 1.23pm nowhere near closing time and he needed to stay open so he could get paid and then buy the jacket he'd been longing for.  
He looked around the room, his eyes coming to rest on the newspaper that had been previously slung on the floor. He jumped down from the stool and walked over to the paper, bending down and picking it up, he studied the page that Howard had been reading and with much surprise to himself he read the article.

_**316 years since the beginning of the Salem Witch trials.  
**__  
316years ago today, the first woman, Bridget Bishop, was convicted of witchcraft, and was hanged that night after declarations that she'd cursed a families children after they'd accused her of stealing bread._

"Wow, this really is the most boring paper ever printed." Vince chuckled as he shook his head at the article; he looked down at the picture underneath the article and scanned all the people on the photograph. His jaw dropped as he looked at one of the persons in habiting the page.

"Howard! There's a guy in the paper that looks like me!"


End file.
